The Price of Experience

We have sex for a myriad of reasons. Sometimes we do it to feel close to someone. Sometimes we do it to feel powerful. Sometimes we do it to please the guy we're with. Sometimes we do it because everyone else is doing it. Sometimes we do it to feel liberated. And sometimes we do it just to gain experience.

Regardless of the reasons, there is a high price to pay for all the sexual experience we gain. The more we have sex, the more we accumulate a trail of baggage that follows us into every sexual encounter.

Not only do our sexual experiences start to weigh us down with baggage like STI's, confusion, anger, depression, hurt, and mistrust, our past sexual involvements also affect the guy we're with. Consider this post from a guy in the book The Bare Naked Truth who's been with both "experienced" and "inexperienced" girls:

"I think it's [more difficult] for a guy (at least it was for me) to be with a girl who is 'experienced,' because we're afraid that we won't live up to her past experiences- that we won't be as memorable as the guys she's been with before."

While many guys embrace the hookup culture because they don't have to put any effort into getting sex (more will be said on this woeful state of affairs in future posts), a lot of them feel threatened at the same time by the thought of you having been with other guys who were better in bed.

You see, what you do in bed never affects just you and the guy you're with. It affects each one of your future partners...above all, it affects your future husband.

You may think you don't have to worry because you're never getting married, but take it from someone who in her teens and twenties never thought she would marry, more than likely you will someday. In fact, a huge percentage of girls, even in this day and age, say that they want to marry, and a very large percentage of us do in fact tie the knot.

The truth is, it will kill your husband to think of all the men you've been with before him.

Unfortunately, I learned this the hard way as my husband struggled for years to overcome insecurity and jealousy stemming from my past. In my younger years, I honestly thought no one would want me (for a myriad of reasons), but I came to realize, regardless of what I'd done and who had abandoned or rejected me, I was valuable and I did have worth.

I realized I was worth way more than I'd given myself credit for. So I started treating myself accordingly. No more hookups. No more casual sex. No more one night stands.

Though I've been faithful to my husband from the very beginning of our relationship, for a long time he felt like he couldn't trust me because of my past. I don't blame him. I had to work for years to show him I am a changed person and I'm 100% committed to being faithful to him.

So here is another peril to consider: Your future husband will also have a hard time trusting you to be faithful to him.

You may be thinking it's too late, you've already messed up and there's no turning back. It's not too late. If it wasn't too late for me, it's definitely not too late for you. Trust me, if you don't turn back it, only gets worse.

Decide now to treat yourself and future husband better. Believe it or not, there are guys out there willing to do the same for you, who want you to be as much of a "beginner" as they are. They may be few and far between, but all you need is one!